“What are you doing Thursday?”
“Nothing.”
“I might come see you, I don’t want you being a ‘billy-no-mates’.”
No, no, that’s okay. I think you’ll find I’m okay with having an entire day to myself doing exactly as I please without having to consider anyone else at all. I don’t want company, I don’t need company. I’m perfectly happy and content with my own company.
Seems that some people struggle to differentiate between ‘lonely’ and ‘alone’. I may be alone today. Intentionally, willingly, necessarily alone, but I’m far from lonely.
That’s a good word for it. Necessary. Sometimes it’s necessary for Al to rest and recharge his batteries. Life is complex, it’s complicated. There’s so much to do and so many people to keep happy, so many obligations to friends, family, co-workers, my employer, service users(!) – everyone wants a slice of me.
‘I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.’
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
When you’re pulled and stretched it’s required that you take a moment to rest and recuperate. I need days like today. They’re essential to maintaining good mental health.
The issue is when people take offence to your required solitude. It’s not that I don’t want to see you, it’s that I don’t want to see anyone. It’s not that I am ignoring you, it’s that I am ignoring everyone. My door is not always open, this house may be small but the welcome isn’t big, please go away and come back again another day.
Does that make sense to people? Do you have your own fortress of solitude? Some place you can get away from them all for a time, to refresh and recharge?