Hey, it’s been a while (again). Let’s put down a quick update and hopefully kickstart me blogging again.
In February I was at the lowest I have been in a long time. I blogged about being Adrift. Lost. Numb. Treading water. I’m pleased to say that things have turned a corner. I’m back at work, and – surprisingly – enjoying it. It’s actually okay. But hell, I needed the time off that I took.
Four months I was off. My mental health was on the floor. It seem crazy to me now, looking back, at how unwell I was. Other’s noticed it. I didn’t. At least, I thought I was okay, but I clearly was not.
It was April before I noticed. We went out as a family for Ellis’ birthday. Nothing fancy, just for some food at the pub. Fran was sat opposite me. She was on her phone and the kids were trying to attract her attention. She ignored them. I shouted at her.
Looking back now I know just how terrible my behaviour was. Byron says to me, “Don’t sweat the small stuff, ” but there I was, sweating like a fat kid in a cake shop. It was an epiphany. It made me realise that how I was feeling was not right. I reached out for help.
Fast forward to June and, after much soul searching, I returned to work. They have not been great. Lots of promises of support from supervision have been broken. Some (minor) things I asked for have not been done, but the people around me are actually a really decent bunch of people. That helps. They’re young, they’re inexperienced, but they want to do the right thing and that is just the most important thing.
I’m back to work. I’m back to writing. Let’s keep this up, yeah?
